Carbonated Salsa? Yes, Please.

every time I go to open up my salsa container now, it is really full of gases and 'exhales' them if you will as I untwist the cap. The first time it happened I mostly just thought it was weird... then today when i actually tasted my salsa (by the way- it smelled TOTALLY fine) it hit my tongue and was super carbonated tasting. You know that bubbly taste that soda give you right as it hits your tongue... yeah. Needless to say I stopped eating it pretty quick. At first I couldn't tell if it was the spiciness; but no, I think it might be weird. So then as I am going to dump it in the food waster container, I accidentally drop the bowl and carbonated salsa literally splatters all over my floor. So then i grab my handy-dandy 409 to just pick all of it up with my paper towels. As I was finishing up the last of the wipe up, i noticed that the paper towel was a little brown... either dirt or varnish. I don't know. Moral of the story is, check 409 before putting in on any surface and don't eat carbonated salsa. Now my room smells like carbonated salsa and lemon 409... mmmm.
Also. Tonight was the second night in a quarter that I forgot my towel when i got in the shower. So then your half-delusional self has to weigh the options. Ok... what is the percent chance that my roommates are in the kitchen right now? What is the percent chance that the hand towel is clean? What is the percent chance that i'll have to put my dirty clothes back on my now dripping-wet body, one of the worst feelings in the world? Needless to say, I can't wait to have my closet attached to my bathroom for such occasions as these.

Word of the day? Lugubriousness. Don't be this. that is all.